psychoanalytic thinking

Shame, which is a powerful and painful emotion, suddenly occurs in its onset and exerts a powerful influence on behaviours by reaching overwhelming proportion. As considering when shame takes place, shame mainly does in relation to an external referent as well as an internal one.

Yorke(2008) had a doubt if it is ever completely internalized and then adds that ‘There is always an awareness of an observer, a possible observer, a former observer, or fantasized observer.’(yorke 2008 p36). Namely, the fact that I feel ashamed even when alone is related to sensing observers though they are invisible. A feeling that someone may be looking at me leads to fear of exposure that leads to a sense of guilt by being disapproved and condemned. The observer for me is my parent. I even find it difficult to keep eye contact with them after doing something sexual.

The awareness of an observer partly reflects a link between shame, pride, exhibitionism-voyeurism and the defenses against it that underlie the need to hide. This calls for elaboration in developmental terms of oral, urethral, anal and phallic exhibitionism. (Yorke 2008 p36)

In my view, the observers as a measure of forming self-esteem or self-evaluation can be a reason of shame, and the shame is a defensive reaction against being repressed by social derivatives to meet with the idealization in the ego. Yet, extremely underlying education about sexuality rather deprives me of sexually self-indulgent pleasure.

Narcissistic exhibitionism instinctively placed ends up leading to shame because a feeling of physical inferiority derived from penis envy represses the wish. That is, despite this body of mine, a sense of inferiority elicited from envying what I cannot have in superego causes shame when i am shown instinctively or even intentionally. Shame of the narcissistic component can be applied to the situation in that I am not willing to stare at my own genital because it makes me ashamed without any reason. I think that the theory of penis envy seems somewhat useful to understand it. 

Bibliography

Yorke,C,B.(2008) A Psychoanalytic Approach To The Understanding Of Shame In: Pajaczkowska,C. & Ward,I.(2008) Shame And Sexuality: Psychoanalysis And Visual Culture , London:Routledge